Day 25 - A New Attitude

Okay - I am BEHIND schedule today. I'm two hours into my work day and have not written a word. Sometimes Monday's roll like this. The only thing to do is just jump in and not think about how you promised to have the rough draft to your managers this week. Or the fact that you are nearly to the point where you are going to have to show your novel to your agency.

But here I am nearing completion on two goals and I'm faced with a completely new experience: Fear.

Normally, by the time I have finished my draft I have fallen so in love with my script that I rush to turn it in.

This time, something different is cooking in my head. I'm not exactly sure why, but, this time as I approach the finish line (well, the first of many finish lines) where I will show my work to my managers, I'm excited, but NERVOUS.

Strange. For me. An Aries. Invisible. Always looking forward. This is strange.

Normally, here's how this goes down. I get notes. Love the ones I agree with, hate the ones I don't. Internally I resist the notes I don't agree with, especially if I know deep down they are right. I hem and haw and grumble. I complain to my husband, who must think Hollywood is the worst place on the planet (when honestly I believe it abundantly populated by extremely intelligent and driven people). Then, I sit down and address the notes.

Ultimately, I come up with a new draft that I am so in love with that again I rush to turn it in because I believe in it even more. Rinse. Repeat.

This time it's different.

I'm curious as to what people will say. I love my script and the characters just as much as in projects in the past, but in some way I'm just staying open. Maybe, it's drivel? Maybe it's brilliant? Probably somewhere in between. But, this time I'm honestly looking forward to letting people in. And that honesty fills me with nervous excitement. To be honest. A little fear. But, nothing I can't handle. I'm still an Aries with Leo Rising. So bring it on.

Perhaps because I've been writing both my script and my first novel simultaneously my ego doesn't know which house to live in and went on vacation. All I know is that this is very interesting and new. And it feels right. I'll keep you posted.