Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Why Writers Drink

To stay sane.

Short post.

See you tomorrow.

Kidding.

It's a cliche to be sure, but behind all cliches are ugly truths. I can't speak for all writers - but the reason why I do a lot of things is fear. Writing is scary.

I'll share a story that has haunted me for probably 15 years, maybe longer. As an undergraduate theater major, an acting professor once advised our class, "Never buy property." To be an artist you had to ride the highs and lows. Having a house payment would force an artist to make bad choices, desperate choices.

These words have been ringing in my ears ever since. In part, because it's true.

Not only do I have a mortgage, but I've got a diaper-dirtying machine who needs everything from food to doctor's visits to a new pair of shoes (on a monthly basis).

Does all this responsibility effect my choices?

Not really.

Does it stoke the fires of fear into an inferno? Does it add to my insomnia? Do I digest properly - no way! But, if regular bowel movements and sleeping without pills were all that important to me I would have gone into banking. (Ha!) You see? there are no guarantees in this day and age anyway. What was once the most stable of professions has been turned on its ear. So, if you have a choice between uncertainty and uncertainty - I say go with the one that fulfills your dreams.

In reality having a mortgage hanging over my head still doesn't effect my choices - because when a writing job comes, I try to get it. Because nobody ever knows when the next one will be. Unless it was a topic that I morally objected to, I try to make it work. I try to crack that nut. Which is what I'm currently doing, while also moving forward with The Assignment.

If I was living in an apartment or in a house or in a van on Fourth street, I'd still try to crack that nut. (Especially if I was living in a van on Fourth Street.)

Only now, owning a house, having a family makes going after that job less about my own ego and winning, as it does about providing for my family. Which really makes the entire process more satisfying, not more scary.

So, then, if everything is so peachy, why do writer's drink and over-eat particularly when it comes to nachos and pizza?

Because writing is scary. You ask yourself to go to a place where you're not sure anything exists and pull out something that will inspire. No guarantees. Freaking terrifying.

But here's the bottom line, my life would be a lot scarier if I wasn't doing what I love.

So, after a long day of having plots and scenes and dialogue running through my skittish brain, I like to unwind with a glass of red or a bottle of Pale and reflect on just how great it feels to be doing exactly what I was meant to do. Come what may.

I will leave you with a movie recommendation, a semi-old but serious goodie. I saw Adaptation in Century City on opening night many moons ago. The entire audience was filled with writers. There was a collective gasp of recognition after the opening monologue. Charlie Kaufman is a genius and if you really want to know what it's like - the first half of this film nails it.

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