Writing Truth: You can never really see the end before you get there (and looking for it can really mess you up)...

Trust me on this, I've been stuck and staring into the abyss (while inhaling a bag of chips) all day.

Situation: Two deadlines approaching. (Imagine me tied to the train tracks like in those old fashioned cartoons with two locomotives barreling towards me from both directions.)

Problem: Stress. Fear. Overload. The Holidays. The baby. Stress. Fear. Overload.

Solutions Tried: Alternating between eating Salt & Vinegar Chips and Sour Patch Skittles. Alternating between drinking Pale Ale and Red Wine. Cried. Yelled at my husband. Retail therapy. More binging.

Result: Guilt. Regret. Embarrassment. And saddest of all - the same deadlines approaching, only now I they are so close I can feel the rails rattle.

So what's a writer to do? Back in the day (pre-baby) I would have chained myself at my desk, ordered up a box of jelly-filled and banged it out with about 45 gallons of Starbucks. Working night after night until three or four in the morning sometimes puts you in such an unhinged state of mind that you're will to just go for it, try anything. That's often when you make a fantastic discovery.

But those days are gone. Let's face it, if I accidentally stay awake past 11PM I go into meltdown mode. If there's one thing I can count on, it's that the baby will be up at least two hours before I want to even think about opening my eyes.

This is the new normal. I'm certainly not the first one to land here. I've got to find a way to make this work. And, let's be honest these are good problems to have. Too much work? I ain't complaining. I just want to do a good job. And the more I want to do a good job the more stressed I get, the farther I feel away from my goal.

And then it hit me.

I decided after a "working nap" that resulted nothing but a stiff neck - to go for a "working walk" and try to shake the cobwebs out of my head and some of the "salt & vinegar chip" off my flabby backside. And as I was pushing the stroller up the hill, telling my babbling baby boy what I needed to do to make both of the projects I'm working on work - I realized what I was doing wrong...

I recognized it immediately - because I've done it before. More like again, again and again.

I was trying to see the finished product!

The stress of having to complete two projects simultaneously with my new life pressures kept me worrying about how I was going to pull it off. How was I going to get to the end? How was I going to finish in time? How was I going to solve all the problems and come up with what the producers want?

All of these questions were focusing on the end result. Of course I couldn't move forward. Because you can NEVER see the end when you're in the middle.

The only way to really see the end of a piece (the piece that has subtle and powerful dialogue, subplots that interweave theme and plot effortlessly, the perfect rise and fall, surprises) is to arrive there one step and one discovery at a time.

Yes, you make a plan. An outline, a beat sheet, you cast your path out ahead of you - but you walk down that path one step at a time. Carefully checking in and making sure you didn't inadvertently go in the wrong directly.

That's also why you have drafts. You write one and then add to it, change it, vary it. How could you possibly see the end result if you haven't even written draft two? What are you psychic? No! You're a writer. And we're in this together.

Trying to see the end freezes your brain. So here's what I'm doing next. I'm looking at the next scene in my script and I'm going to write draft two on my pitch. Wow - that feels better already. It's not the final draft - it's just the next one. No biggie.

So on to the next step....